Tell my kids to clean their room.

Many hours later. Nothing has changed. Why???

PROBLEM:

Kids don’t see the difference between toys and the mess.

Kids don’t care that it's a mess… in fact they prefer it!

I should be in the room with them, cleaning with them and teaching them.

Are there rooms in your heart that are a disaster… and no matter how long you spend trying to clean it, it looks the same?

I think for some christians we spend a majority of our walk, dealing with this shame cycle:

Conviction, confession, healing, freedom, failure…

Conviction, confession, healing, freedom, failure…

Conviction, confession, healing, freedom, failure…

Let’s honestly examine these cycles, these messy rooms that never seem to get cleaned NO MATTER HOW LONG WE SPEND TRYING TO CLEAN THEM…

We want to clean the room alone.

Shame makes us push God out of the messy room. Its up to us to clean!

The enemy gets us to believe God is disappointed and discouraged by our sin… and is going to suddenly appear and say:

Do you see this room??? How could you not see it’s a mess!

Your sister is way cleaner than you!

This is disgusting. I'm so disappointed in you.

This distant and disappointed Father is a lie!

Modern church is trying to overcorrect for the “disappointed father” by replacing it with a Father that comes into the room and just says I love you… Still missing the fact that we aren’t letting God INTO THE MESS WITH US.

Both are a picture of a bad father.

It's not about a disappointed or an accepting father… that would make his character a reaction to our sin.

He is a present father.

God NEVER leaves us or forsakes us. He is always with us.

Isaiah 41:10

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Deuteronomy 31:6

Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”

Psalm 139:7-10

Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me.

If you are stuck in a cycle, there is a mess in your heart that isn’t seeming to get cleaned up… look around, God’s not in the room with you… not because he left, because you ran from him.

Gen 3:8-10

8 Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. 9 But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?”

10 He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.”

You're viewing yourself as alone. Afraid He will barge in at any moment. Disappointed in you.

So you begin to prepare defenses:

RESPONSIBILITY

I didn't know.

It’s not my fault.

DOWNPLAY

It’s not a big deal.

I can do what I want, I deserve it.

Everyone is doing it.

DISTRACTION

Other peoples sin is bigger than mine!

Im the biggest idiot in the whole world!

When God does come in, all our excuses wash away… so the only ones who hear these excuses are people who walk into your mess (spouses or close friends)

We are so uncomfortable walking WITH God when we are naked, so we hide.

We want to clean the room alone.

But, God knows we cannot. And he is always with us if we just invite him in!

We have to be able to tell the diff between toys and the mess on our own.

Kids can't tell a fluff from a “spidy friend”

This seems obvious at first… but the truth is, when we are left on our own, sin is almost impossible to detect!

I can’t see the difference between my God given sexual desires and lust

I can't see the difference between discouragement and depression

I can’t see the difference between accepting my uniqueness and pride

I can’t see the difference between anger and Godly anger

We pray, Distant Father, open my eyes… help me to detect sin in my heart.

Why?

Because It feels so much safer to wander the rooms of my heart, clean up messes I find… and then when God comes He won't be disappointed in me.

The Pharisees were the best people in history to know the difference between Sin and Righteousness. They were the modern version of lawyers. So much so that the Pharisees’ influence over the common people was so great that anything they said against the king or the high priest was believed.

But look at what Jesus says about their condition.

John 9:39-41

39 Jesus said,[a] “For judgment I have come into this world, so that the blind will see and those who see will become blind.”

40 Some Pharisees who were with him heard him say this and asked, “What? Are we blind too?”

41 Jesus said, “If you were blind, you would not be guilty of sin; but now that you claim you can see, your guilt remains.

Their “Claim” to see and judge righteousness SEPARATED THEM FROM THE FATHER.

It was a “claim” and not even true! It’s not possible.

We are NOT supposed to pride ourselves in our ability to detect sin. Only God can do that.

Oh yee woke generation.

ALSO: If you detect the sin on your own, then you set yourself up to also remove it on your own:

Our instruments to remove the sin on our own are blunt and extreme:

Matthew 5:20 & 29–30

20 For I tell you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven.

This whole chapter is Jesus setting the standard of righteousness SO high that we recognize we need a savior. We cannot achieve it on our own! It is impossible for anyone EXCEPT HIM!

29 If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.

When we move into removing sin, we maim ourselves! Lobbing off sin AND GIFTS FROM GOD.

Old time medicine: leaching… remove loads of blood!

Like cutting off your foot because your toe has gangrene.

We may be blunt and blind, but God can discern surgically:

Hebrews 4:12 12 For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. 13 Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.

We need an ever present Father to continually show us where the toys stop and where the mess begins. So that he can perfectly distinguish the wheat from the weeds. Soul and Spirit.

YOU ARE NOT ABLE TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TOYS AND THE MESS WITHOUT THE FATHER!

We should HATE the mess

This is a stronghold when we try to use our will power alone to despise sin.

Once we can see the mess, sometimes we feel a disconnect between our minds and our hearts. We see the sin, but we cannot seem to break free.

Romans 7:18 18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[a] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.

The wages of sin may be death, BUT it tastes sweet as honey!

Proverbs 20:17 Food gained by deceit is sweet to a man,

But afterward his mouth will be filled with gravel [just as sin may be sweet at first, but later its consequences bring despair].

When your heart wants the sweetness of the sin more than it’s willingness to surrender to God:

You don’t actually want to be free as bad as you DO want the fruit of the sin.

Anger does provide a level of power and respect.

Lust does provide a level of comfort and pleasure.

Believing that you are rejected does provide a level of compassion.

The Tree of Knowledge was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom

Denying this truth is not a SHORTCUT TO removing sin from your life… It just embeds it deeper.

When God leads us through conviction, it always comes with an exchange of our sweet tasting ashes for something so much more beautiful. Suddenly our eyes are open to the glory of the exchange.

Going from getting allowance to getting a paycheck.

Playing house, to having a family.

Imagine shaming a child to give up their toys to get them to mature?

“Stupid kid… playing house is for babies!” RUDE!

We do this to ourselves all the time.

It's not just stepping away from the sin, it's coming INTO his promises.

You give up playing house, because having a family is SO SATISFYING.

Self evaluation only produces condemnation. And change through condemnation leads back to failure.

Proverbs 26:11 As a dog returns to its vomit,

so fools repeat their folly.

When we rely on ourselves to hate sin, the cycle looks like this:

Condemnation/guilt or shame, abstaining, absence of sin and absence of God, … Nothing to replace the fruit, holdout…. starvation… failure -> return to the sin for the fruit.

Matt 12:43 “Now when the unclean spirit has gone out of a man, it roams through waterless (dry, arid) places in search of rest, but it does not find it. 44 Then it says, ‘I will return to my house from which I came.’ And when it arrives, it finds the place unoccupied, swept, and put in order. 45 Then it goes and brings with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and make their home there. And the last condition of that man becomes worse than the first.

Sometimes we are confused why we are stuck in these patterns, mindsets and sins…

But, when GOD brings conviction, he shows us both our lack and he brings something beautiful to exchange it for.

Closing

David’s story.

A man struggling with lust, to the point of murdering a friend to get his wife. He tries to hide it, make it look like an accident.

This messy room He couldn’t clean on his own.

2 Samuel 12:7-8

7 Then Nathan said to David, “You are the man! This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: ‘I anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you from the hand of Saul. 8 I gave your master’s house to you, and your master’s wives into your arms. I gave you all Israel and Judah. And if all this had been too little, I would have given you even more.

After 6 hours of being locked out of David heart, God comes into the mess and just wishes David would have let Him in.

We repent for closing you out of our hearts

Trying to learn for ourselves to identify sin,

And hiding from you the fact that our hearts are wicked and enjoy the fruit of our sin!

We open our hearts to you. We are children, you are God.

Come, teach us, lead us, and be a good father.